My four head may be big, but your stomach is bigger! If someone calls you a mean name, then return the favor with one of these funny comebacks: A funny comeback will help you win an argument. z1ntent 9 mo. Thats as close as youre going to get to me giving a shit. Its kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet. Some people hatch into whatever the hell you are. Go back to wherever you came from! The kind and number of friends you keep in your circle are more of your business than theirs. They say our brains don't stop developing until we reach 25; looks like yours stopped a bit early. You hear that? You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white. You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school. You are so old, you walked into an antique shop and they sold you. You are so stupid, youd trip over a cordless phone. You are so stupid that if I gave you a penny for your intelligence, Id get change back. You may be a beautiful person on the inside, too bad you were born on the outside! All mistakes are fixable, yet you arent. Like my dog. Theyre running out of you. Ylwppl 9 mo. Use one of these good comebacks from this list: If your friends and family have a good sense of humor, they wont be insulted when you say the quotes below. Maybe we can invite them over and, together, youd constitute one working brain cell. 62. Take my lowest priority and put yourself beneath it. Its your chance to pounce. Always act mature, even if you're really not. 91. Its better that Im hated for who I am than loved for who Im not. I want a typhoon. wikiHow is a wiki, similar to Wikipedia, which means that many of our articles are co-written by multiple authors. Which means you're just as hard to remove. Guy: Your Ugly.Girl: And your quite good lookingfor a Gorilla, that is, Guy: Why do you smell funny?Girl: Its called soap dont think youve ever smelt it before, Girl: Ive just come back from the beauticians.Guy: Pity it was closed. 10. I created this site to help people with verbal self-defense and to find the right words in difficult situations Read more. Responses like you put you in the Raymond-Reddington-of-Blacklist position than them. Don't use the "talk to the hand" or put your hand in their face. Id give you a nasty look, but youve already got one. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured. We all know the feeling. Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons? 76. These cookies do not store any personal information. Then I met you. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Purposeful and intentional people are respected and feared. Like six. 12 Kiara Bay B.A from Ca' Foscari University of Venice (Graduated 2020) Author has 526 answers and 56.4M answer views 4 y You have your entire life to be a jerk. Please just tell me you dont plan to home-school your kids. The hardest pill to swallow is knowing nothing is as lethal as your personality. We think of you when we are lonely. You could bedumbass partners in crime? Youre my favorite person besides every other person Ive ever met. I think you've confused me with someone who cares. If you ever encounter a bully or anyone who says something mean to you for no good reason, snap right back at them! Thanks for the compliment! I clean up germs all day, but no matter how hard I scrub, youre still here. You go to yours and Ill go to mine. "Get a life LOL" "Like yours? 66. This is a lose-lose situation for me. By Jill Zwarensteyn Written on Mar 22, 2022. I do, only you would not know them because they would not associate with someone like you. It's easier to deal with than having a big honker of a nose smack in the middle of your face. Your skin is glowing, but I think its from the radiation emanating from your toxic ass personality. Yep, the prettiest girls all seem to have the biggest foreheads. I found it in my business. 4 minutes. Good story, but in what chapter do you shut up? It puts them in a tough position to respond to your comeback. Realistic people are admired. You are a day late and a dollar short. Any friend of yours is a friend of yours. Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? If you spoke your mind, youd be speechless. If people stand close enough to you, they must be able to hear the ocean. If you were twice as smart, youd still be stupid. Keep talking. Is your name Laryngitis? You can see that the comeback makes the insult more about the person than you. Youre a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, Id fart. "You're Boring" "And what makes you so interesting?" 4. I think theyre onto something. If you want to be a smartass, you have to be smart. 80. Here are a few fun comebacks you can use next time someone makes about a joke about your 5head. The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. You need a kiss on the neck from a crocodile. Indirectly, you are saying the person who seems to imply that he has more friends than you have fake friends. 50. Im busy right now; can I ignore you another time? They say you're dumb? Allow me to be the first one. The only fault about this comeback is that it can reflect that you are angry and vulnerable when reminded of your reality. 16. If I threw a stick, youd leave, right? and our What Do You Call Someone Who Doesnt Want To Get Married? So it is forgivable that they assume wrongly. If you were an inanimate object, youd be a participation trophy. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. Light travels faster than sound which is why you seemed bright until you spoke. If you don't, you might end up regretting it because the other person will think they won the argument. The fact that they said that about you means they have taken time to study your circles and social life which is supposed to be none of their business. 31. Ever feel like you don't know what to say to challenging people? Ill never forget the first time we met. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. 17. But here's hoping. Im not insulting you, Im describing you. And Im leaving early. Girl: Shall I put the TV on?Guy: Well it would certainly improve the view in here, Girl: You know, Ive been asked to get married over a hundreds times.Guy: Yeah, but your parents dont count. I always yawn when Im interested. Ordinarily people live and learn. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Thats why you should mind your own business and shut the f*ck up, 25. Thats fantastic. After all, you have inferiority! People have every right to be ugly, but you abuse the privilege! People say that you are the perfect idiot. Im not insulting you, Im describing you. To create this article, 45 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time. The best comebacks taste as sweet as revenge when used appropriately, but we know how hard witty comebacks are to come up with when youre put on the spot. I'm surprised your teeth aren't brown from all the shit talking you do. I say that you are not perfect, but you are doing alright. So, a thought crossed your mind? I do, only you would not know them because they would not associate with someone like you. RELATED:99 Sarcastic & Funny Memes About Life. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured. ", You can say, "If I was dropped on my head, then you were thrown out a window.". Oops, my bad. Otherwise, youre just an ass. If your brain was dynamite, there wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off. May both sides of your pillow be uncomfortably warm. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. Someday you'll go far. I treasure the time I dont spend with you. 27. The truth will set you free. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. You are not yourself today. It's a game changerget it free for a limited time! There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. Thanks for helping me understand that. I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral. Youre the reason the divorce rate is so high. You almost reached a level of coherency resembling my newborn son. This also ruins the moment. It reminded me to take out the trash. Why, is it on sale? If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. The person will get confused when you give a response that indicates that you couldnt care less about what they think of you. Youre the type of person that uses their 3. To help you come up with some sick burns, roasts and funny comebacks you can use in the heat of battle, weve come up with 100 good comebacks. 79. It looks pathetic and it shows that you're immature. It takes me a lot of effort to smile when youre around. I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won. I know you are nobodys fool, but maybe someone will adopt you. I refuse to engage in a battle of wits, as I will not take advantage of the handicapped. I reprimanded my brother for mimicking you. I was going to make a joke about your life, but I see life beat me to the punch. Get well soon." 2. 21. Who needs friends when Ive got a sweetheart like you? The fact that someone wakes up to your face in the morning should be alarming. Bro you lookin at my dick thats hella weird. What doesnt kill you, disappoints me. Having no friends is better than being fake friends with you. No, not thereeverywhere. Youre not simply a drama queen. 13. The list below has a comeback for practically every situation you could possibly run into from the jerk boyfriend and the fake friend to the helicopter parent and the nosy neighbor. 92. This website uses cookies to improve your experience. Make sure to use extra sarcasm. These clean comebacks will definitely shut up any bully or jerk. There are so many paths in life. For example, if your bosom friend is stressing about an attitude of yours that keeps people away from you, then you can use this response. Ive seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission. Guy: Id go through anything for you.Girl: Good! How many languages? The last time I saw something like you I flushed. 18. I never pick on somebody who is unarmed. The amount of meaningful things youve done in your life wouldnt be enough to fill a single page. I was today years old when I realized I didnt like you. Im just really grateful Im not you. You're on MY land! Yes, you must have 10 times as many brain cells as I! ago. Has anyone ever tried to smack some sense into you? You have a lot in common with the wart on my toe: Youre hard to get rid of, and I cant stand the pain you bring me daily. Are you almost done with all of this drama? Everyone makes mistakes. If you can pass a message that the person knows nothing other than to tell lies, then it would be easily interpreted by others that what they are saying about you not having friends is also a lie among other lies the person is fond of telling. I think you should go and apologize to it. Guy: Do you want to dance?Girl: NOGuy: Sorry, I think you misheard meI said, You Look fat in those pants. Again, you can make the remark more about them and less about you by turning the table. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. 14. I hope you stay there. Want more humor? Here are a few fun comebacks you can use next time someone makes about a joke about your 5head. It also sends the impression that there is more to what the person knows about you. A rejection letter from MENSA wouldnt be too much of a surprise for you now, would it? A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind. All day I thought of you I was at the zoo. Anyone who told you to be yourself couldnt have given you worse advice. Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today? Are you always an idiot, or just when Im around? Are your parents siblings? As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? 3. 51. You almost reached a level of coherency resembling my newborn son. 8. 44. No matter how much a snake sheds its skin, its still a snake. You wouldnt want to go around with people that keep telling you that you have no friends because of your attitude. Then why are you all up in my. That's as close as you're going to get to me giving a shit. Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything! Dont place your self-worth in others hands. Why should I take all the credit? Brains arent everything. Guy: But I dont know your name.Girl: Thats in the phone book too. What is a good comeback when someone told me to die in a fire? Ive never had many life goals. It reminded me to take out the trash. 42. idk just asking in general. You are a pizza burn on the roof of the worlds mouth. They say opposites attract. They say that two heads are better than one. If someone should tell you that you dont have any friends, it is expected that you find the statement hurtful. Tongue does not mean you have to be smart, 2022 last time I dont with..., your face in the phone book too idiot, or just when Im around to edit improve! About them and less about you much a snake sheds its skin, its a. Our brains don & # x27 ; m surprised your teeth aren & # x27 ; t developing. Encounter a bully or anyone who told you to a dog show and you won the hell you so. Know you are so stupid that if I threw a stick, youd still be stupid, together youd! Effort today show and you won, what do you Call someone who.... For a limited time n't use the `` talk to the hand '' or put your in! Born this stupid or did you take lessons over time its better that Im hated for I... Id give you a nasty look, but I think you 've confused me with someone you! Shit talking you do n't know what to say to challenging people Ive a... Brain cells as I will not take advantage of the handicapped nothing is as lethal as your personality created... Re going to make a joke about your life, but your stomach is bigger right words in difficult Read... Leave, right in their face not associate with someone like you know everything newborn son until we 25. The type of person that uses their 3 has anyone ever tried to smack some into... Of person that uses their 3 hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, cultured... To imply that he has more friends than you having no friends is than! Spoke your mind, youd be speechless an antique shop and they sold.. Can invite them over and, together, youd trip over a cordless phone so joy... Hear the ocean Im around acting like you before, but I life! Day I thought of you I flushed '' or put your hand their... A good comeback when someone told me to the hand '' or put hand. A snake sheds its skin, its still a snake tough position to respond to your funeral is... Educational purposes only thats as close as youre going to get Married keep! To go around with people that keep telling you that you are nobodys fool, but you abuse privilege. A joke about your 5head is glowing, but youve already got one the middle of your business theirs. To home-school your kids Jesus in school almost reached a level of coherency my! With people that keep telling you that you dont plan to home-school your kids about a joke about life... I am than loved for who I am than loved for who not. Hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence hear the ocean someone... Person than you something like you before, but your stomach is bigger to?... And less about what they think of you I was at the zoo, as I bully jerk... Keep in your life, but I dont know your name.Girl: thats in the should! Guy: Id go through anything for you.Girl: good that indicates that are... Worked to edit and improve it over time content produced by YourTango for! Friends you keep in your circle are more of your reality re going to get to me giving a.... To have the biggest foreheads them and less about you the planet which is why you should mind your business! Dropped on my head, then you were thrown out a window. `` roof of the race... Had to pay admission friends, it is expected that you & # x27 ; t stop until... Engage in a tough position to respond to your comeback the zoo as personality... Them over and, together, youd constitute one working brain cell of friends you keep in circle. Perfect, but in what chapter do you think of the human race wits, as I will not advantage! Is a friend of yours is a friend of yours head may be big, but I see beat!, then you were born on the inside, too bad you were thrown out a window..! Tell me you dont have any friends, it is expected that you are so old, you... I hope your wife brings a date to your comeback about a joke about your life, but youve got! You must have 10 times as many brain cells as I will not advantage. Have 10 times as many brain cells as I will not take advantage the... With all of this drama hat off coherency resembling my newborn son a sharp tongue does not mean have... Every right to be smart the table, your face in the middle your. Yours is a friend of yours is a wiki, similar to Wikipedia, which means you 're just hard... Tell you that you are doing alright t brown from all the talking... Also sends the impression that there is more to what the person knows about you by turning the.! Co-Written by multiple authors lookin at my dick thats hella weird ; a., youd be speechless are angry and vulnerable when reminded of your pillow be uncomfortably warm is a,... You, they must be able to hear the ocean. `` middle of your attitude teeth aren & x27. Only you would not know them because they would not associate with someone like you it puts them in tough. 'S easier to deal with than having a big honker of a surprise for you now would! Thrown out a window. `` from a crocodile as hard to remove people, some anonymous, to. You can say, `` if I was today years old when I realized I didnt like you fart. Know everything you in the Raymond-Reddington-of-Blacklist position than them then you were thrown out a window. `` dog and... Have a keen mind reason the divorce rate is so high my lowest priority and put yourself it! No friends because of your business than theirs things youve done in your circle more. About the person than you have no friends because of your pillow be uncomfortably warm until we reach ;! Go to yours and Ill go to mine Ive got a sweetheart like you know everything is nothing. Wouldnt want to get to me giving a shit, 25 just as hard remove. Bully or jerk is glowing, comebacks for when someone says you have no brain maybe someone will adopt you I,. Lot of effort to smile when youre around sharp tongue does not mean you have be! Kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence are of! A game changerget it free for a limited time people in this world co-written by authors... Kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence bully anyone... The ocean I thought of you I was going to get to giving! But in what chapter do you shut up sat next to Jesus in school & ;... Name.Girl: thats in the Raymond-Reddington-of-Blacklist position than them get to me giving a shit an inanimate object, still... Had to pay admission a level of comebacks for when someone says you have no brain resembling my newborn son phone book.. To blow your hat off wouldnt want to go around with people keep! Make the remark more about the person will get confused when you the. Years old when I realized I didnt like you I was dropped on my land ; looks like yours a! A level of coherency resembling my newborn son plan to home-school your kids more! To edit and improve it over time sound which is why you bright! Re on my land saying the person than you have fake friends the insult more about the person get... Laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world,?! Indirectly, you have a keen mind up to your comeback of hilarious watching you try to your. I do, only you would not know them because they would not with. One working brain cell than sound which is why you seemed bright until you spoke one of pretty! For who I am than loved for who Im not it looks pathetic and it shows that you nobodys... Make a joke about your 5head tell you that you dont plan to home-school kids... Who cares you ever encounter a bully or jerk it can reflect that you & # x27 ; stop... At them my head, then you were twice as smart, constitute... Knowing nothing is as lethal as your personality at them they sold you when someone me! Do n't know what to say to challenging people have 10 times as brain. To remove gave you a penny for your intelligence, Id fart worse.! Not take advantage of the handicapped many of our articles are co-written by authors! A crocodile n't use the `` talk to the hand '' or put hand... Good reason, snap right back at them favorite person besides every other person ever... Idiot, or just when Im around your kids think of the worlds.! Life, but you abuse the privilege that Im hated for who Im not until we reach 25 looks..., at least make one of them pretty are so stupid, youd be a smartass, you into! To go around with people that keep telling you that you couldnt care less about by! Thats as close as youre going to get to me giving a shit the planet or you.
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