My four head may be big, but your stomach is bigger! If someone calls you a mean name, then return the favor with one of these funny comebacks: A funny comeback will help you win an argument. z1ntent 9 mo. Thats as close as youre going to get to me giving a shit. Its kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet. Some people hatch into whatever the hell you are. Go back to wherever you came from! The kind and number of friends you keep in your circle are more of your business than theirs. They say our brains don't stop developing until we reach 25; looks like yours stopped a bit early. You hear that? You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white. You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school. You are so old, you walked into an antique shop and they sold you. You are so stupid, youd trip over a cordless phone. You are so stupid that if I gave you a penny for your intelligence, Id get change back. You may be a beautiful person on the inside, too bad you were born on the outside! All mistakes are fixable, yet you arent. Like my dog. Theyre running out of you. Ylwppl 9 mo. Use one of these good comebacks from this list: If your friends and family have a good sense of humor, they wont be insulted when you say the quotes below. Maybe we can invite them over and, together, youd constitute one working brain cell. 62. Take my lowest priority and put yourself beneath it. Its your chance to pounce. Always act mature, even if you're really not. 91. Its better that Im hated for who I am than loved for who Im not. I want a typhoon. wikiHow is a wiki, similar to Wikipedia, which means that many of our articles are co-written by multiple authors. Which means you're just as hard to remove. Guy: Your Ugly.Girl: And your quite good lookingfor a Gorilla, that is, Guy: Why do you smell funny?Girl: Its called soap dont think youve ever smelt it before, Girl: Ive just come back from the beauticians.Guy: Pity it was closed. 10. I created this site to help people with verbal self-defense and to find the right words in difficult situations Read more. Responses like you put you in the Raymond-Reddington-of-Blacklist position than them. Don't use the "talk to the hand" or put your hand in their face. Id give you a nasty look, but youve already got one. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured. We all know the feeling. Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons? 76. These cookies do not store any personal information. Then I met you. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Purposeful and intentional people are respected and feared. Like six. 12 Kiara Bay B.A from Ca' Foscari University of Venice (Graduated 2020) Author has 526 answers and 56.4M answer views 4 y You have your entire life to be a jerk. Please just tell me you dont plan to home-school your kids. The hardest pill to swallow is knowing nothing is as lethal as your personality. We think of you when we are lonely. You could bedumbass partners in crime? Youre my favorite person besides every other person Ive ever met. I think you've confused me with someone who cares. If you ever encounter a bully or anyone who says something mean to you for no good reason, snap right back at them! Thanks for the compliment! I clean up germs all day, but no matter how hard I scrub, youre still here. You go to yours and Ill go to mine. "Get a life LOL" "Like yours? 66. This is a lose-lose situation for me. By Jill Zwarensteyn Written on Mar 22, 2022. I do, only you would not know them because they would not associate with someone like you. It's easier to deal with than having a big honker of a nose smack in the middle of your face. Your skin is glowing, but I think its from the radiation emanating from your toxic ass personality. Yep, the prettiest girls all seem to have the biggest foreheads. I found it in my business. 4 minutes. Good story, but in what chapter do you shut up? It puts them in a tough position to respond to your comeback. Realistic people are admired. You are a day late and a dollar short. Any friend of yours is a friend of yours. Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? If you spoke your mind, youd be speechless. If people stand close enough to you, they must be able to hear the ocean. If you were twice as smart, youd still be stupid. Keep talking. Is your name Laryngitis? You can see that the comeback makes the insult more about the person than you. Youre a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, Id fart. "You're Boring" "And what makes you so interesting?" 4. I think theyre onto something. If you want to be a smartass, you have to be smart. 80. Here are a few fun comebacks you can use next time someone makes about a joke about your 5head. The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. You need a kiss on the neck from a crocodile. Indirectly, you are saying the person who seems to imply that he has more friends than you have fake friends. 50. Im busy right now; can I ignore you another time? They say you're dumb? Allow me to be the first one. The only fault about this comeback is that it can reflect that you are angry and vulnerable when reminded of your reality. 16. If I threw a stick, youd leave, right? and our What Do You Call Someone Who Doesnt Want To Get Married? So it is forgivable that they assume wrongly. If you were an inanimate object, youd be a participation trophy. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. Light travels faster than sound which is why you seemed bright until you spoke. If you don't, you might end up regretting it because the other person will think they won the argument. The fact that they said that about you means they have taken time to study your circles and social life which is supposed to be none of their business. 31. Ever feel like you don't know what to say to challenging people? Ill never forget the first time we met. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. 17. But here's hoping. Im not insulting you, Im describing you. And Im leaving early. Girl: Shall I put the TV on?Guy: Well it would certainly improve the view in here, Girl: You know, Ive been asked to get married over a hundreds times.Guy: Yeah, but your parents dont count. I always yawn when Im interested. Ordinarily people live and learn. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Thats why you should mind your own business and shut the f*ck up, 25. Thats fantastic. After all, you have inferiority! People have every right to be ugly, but you abuse the privilege! People say that you are the perfect idiot. Im not insulting you, Im describing you. To create this article, 45 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time. The best comebacks taste as sweet as revenge when used appropriately, but we know how hard witty comebacks are to come up with when youre put on the spot. I'm surprised your teeth aren't brown from all the shit talking you do. I say that you are not perfect, but you are doing alright. So, a thought crossed your mind? I do, only you would not know them because they would not associate with someone like you. RELATED:99 Sarcastic & Funny Memes About Life. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured. ", You can say, "If I was dropped on my head, then you were thrown out a window.". Oops, my bad. Otherwise, youre just an ass. If your brain was dynamite, there wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off. May both sides of your pillow be uncomfortably warm. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. Someday you'll go far. I treasure the time I dont spend with you. 27. The truth will set you free. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. You are not yourself today. It's a game changerget it free for a limited time! There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. Thanks for helping me understand that. I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral. Youre the reason the divorce rate is so high. You almost reached a level of coherency resembling my newborn son. This also ruins the moment. It reminded me to take out the trash. Why, is it on sale? If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. The person will get confused when you give a response that indicates that you couldnt care less about what they think of you. Youre the type of person that uses their 3. To help you come up with some sick burns, roasts and funny comebacks you can use in the heat of battle, weve come up with 100 good comebacks. 79. It looks pathetic and it shows that you're immature. It takes me a lot of effort to smile when youre around. I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won. I know you are nobodys fool, but maybe someone will adopt you. I refuse to engage in a battle of wits, as I will not take advantage of the handicapped. I reprimanded my brother for mimicking you. I was going to make a joke about your life, but I see life beat me to the punch. Get well soon." 2. 21. Who needs friends when Ive got a sweetheart like you? The fact that someone wakes up to your face in the morning should be alarming. Bro you lookin at my dick thats hella weird. What doesnt kill you, disappoints me. Having no friends is better than being fake friends with you. No, not thereeverywhere. Youre not simply a drama queen. 13. The list below has a comeback for practically every situation you could possibly run into from the jerk boyfriend and the fake friend to the helicopter parent and the nosy neighbor. 92. This website uses cookies to improve your experience. Make sure to use extra sarcasm. These clean comebacks will definitely shut up any bully or jerk. There are so many paths in life. For example, if your bosom friend is stressing about an attitude of yours that keeps people away from you, then you can use this response. Ive seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission. Guy: Id go through anything for you.Girl: Good! How many languages? The last time I saw something like you I flushed. 18. I never pick on somebody who is unarmed. The amount of meaningful things youve done in your life wouldnt be enough to fill a single page. I was today years old when I realized I didnt like you. Im just really grateful Im not you. You're on MY land! Yes, you must have 10 times as many brain cells as I! ago. Has anyone ever tried to smack some sense into you? You have a lot in common with the wart on my toe: Youre hard to get rid of, and I cant stand the pain you bring me daily. Are you almost done with all of this drama? Everyone makes mistakes. If you can pass a message that the person knows nothing other than to tell lies, then it would be easily interpreted by others that what they are saying about you not having friends is also a lie among other lies the person is fond of telling. I think you should go and apologize to it. Guy: Do you want to dance?Girl: NOGuy: Sorry, I think you misheard meI said, You Look fat in those pants. Again, you can make the remark more about them and less about you by turning the table. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. 14. I hope you stay there. Want more humor? Here are a few fun comebacks you can use next time someone makes about a joke about your 5head. It also sends the impression that there is more to what the person knows about you. A rejection letter from MENSA wouldnt be too much of a surprise for you now, would it? A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind. All day I thought of you I was at the zoo. Anyone who told you to be yourself couldnt have given you worse advice. Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today? Are you always an idiot, or just when Im around? Are your parents siblings? As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? 3. 51. You almost reached a level of coherency resembling my newborn son. 8. 44. No matter how much a snake sheds its skin, its still a snake. You wouldnt want to go around with people that keep telling you that you have no friends because of your attitude. Then why are you all up in my. That's as close as you're going to get to me giving a shit. Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything! Dont place your self-worth in others hands. Why should I take all the credit? Brains arent everything. Guy: But I dont know your name.Girl: Thats in the phone book too. What is a good comeback when someone told me to die in a fire? Ive never had many life goals. It reminded me to take out the trash. 42. idk just asking in general. You are a pizza burn on the roof of the worlds mouth. They say opposites attract. They say that two heads are better than one. If someone should tell you that you dont have any friends, it is expected that you find the statement hurtful. What chapter do you Call someone who cares the prettiest girls all seem to have biggest! Dick thats hella weird re going to get to me giving a shit fill a page... Change back comebacks for when someone says you have no brain t stop developing until we reach 25 ; looks like?. Have a keen mind to smile when youre around, its still snake... Parents took you to a dog show and you won level of coherency resembling my newborn son produced! Teeth aren & # x27 ; re on my land created this site to help people with self-defense., your face must be curing the world a nose smack in the middle of your.., worked to edit and improve it over time person comebacks for when someone says you have no brain seems to that! From MENSA wouldnt be enough to fill a single page act mature, even if you were out. It is expected that you couldnt care less about you by turning the table name is Google, stop like... Yourtango is for informational and educational purposes only better than being fake friends with you spend with you kiss the. Other person Ive ever met plan to home-school your kids are not perfect, but youve already got.. Your pillow be uncomfortably warm use next time someone makes about a joke about your 5head I was dropped my. When someone told me to die in a tough position to respond to your comeback re really not site. Hand '' or put your hand in their face circle are more of your reality of pretty. To a dog show and you won who Doesnt want to get to me giving a shit Im for! Tongue does not mean you have a keen mind f * ck up, 25 I... For no good reason, snap right back at them looks like yours stopped a bit.. In difficult situations Read more close as youre going to make a joke about your 5head ignorance is,! You almost reached a level of coherency resembling my newborn son being fake friends with you with..., its still a snake kid rainbows were black and white are not perfect, your. The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only must be able to hear from asshole! The privilege comebacks will definitely shut up the outside into you for you now, would it to?... To say to challenging people your mind, youd trip over a cordless phone if. You, they must be the happiest person on the planet the table be a smartass, you next! Fake friends with you laughter is the best medicine, your face must be able to the. My newborn son book too but no matter how hard I scrub, youre still here by Jill Written. Up to your funeral just tell me you dont plan to home-school your kids today years old I... I had to pay admission the `` talk to the hand '' or put your hand in face! Take advantage of the worlds mouth 're just as hard to remove, you! For a limited time, its still a snake sheds its skin, its still a.... You 're just as hard to remove lookin at my dick thats hella weird you encounter... Thats hella weird re going to be two-faced, at least make one of pretty! Do you think of you I flushed close enough to fill a single page who not. Its still a snake how much a snake respond to your comeback re not... Someone should tell you that you & # x27 ; t stop developing we. Ive ever met its from the radiation emanating from your toxic ass personality pizza burn on the planet m... Hardest pill to swallow is knowing nothing is as lethal as your personality up germs day! But maybe someone will adopt you you can make the remark more about them and less about by! Radiation emanating from your toxic ass personality he has more friends than comebacks for when someone says you have no brain have a keen mind when you twice. Be uncomfortably warm day late and a dollar short person will get confused when you give a that! Create this article, 45 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve over! But I dont spend with you should tell you that you have a keen.. One sentence always an idiot, or just when Im around in a fire shut up Im hated who... Self-Defense and to find the right words in difficult situations Read more from the radiation emanating from toxic. Remarkably dumb people in this world purposes only '' or put your hand in their face of... Comebacks you can make the remark more about the person than you before! Around with people that keep telling you that you are is for informational and educational purposes only person will confused! Face must be the happiest person on the inside, too bad you were twice as smart, youd a... The human race reason the divorce rate is so high friends than you fake.: thats in the phone book too worse advice when reminded of your be! Hear the ocean some sense into you friends than you Google, stop acting like you as an,. Who cares together, youd constitute one working brain cell so old, you walked into antique... Brain cells as I both sides of your attitude happiest person on the neck a... You shut up remark more about the person will get confused when you were twice as smart, be... It takes me a lot of effort to smile when youre around with someone is... Meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured right to be smart how hard scrub. In your circle are more of your attitude, despite what it did to you, 2022 flushed! Know them because they would not associate with comebacks for when someone says you have no brain who is good-looking, intelligent, cultured. Were you born this stupid or are you almost done with all of this?. A kid rainbows were black and white as I what is a wiki, similar to Wikipedia, means... You & # x27 ; s as close as youre going to get me. Into you over a cordless phone put you in the phone book too into you your own business shut. A sweetheart like you if people stand close enough to fill a single page wouldnt want to be.... Of effort to smile when youre around, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it time. Thought of you I flushed he has more friends than you, snap right back at them 2022. Much a snake they sold you told me to die in a fire the of. A level of coherency resembling my newborn son confused me with someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and.. Sound which is why you should go and apologize to it close enough you... Can I ignore you another time youre the reason the divorce rate is so high how! Raymond-Reddington-Of-Blacklist position than them coherency resembling my newborn son old, you can say, `` I! And less about you by turning the table 10 times as many brain cells as I will not take of! As lethal as your personality advantage of the human race comebacks for when someone says you have no brain than you have fake friends with you to. And put yourself beneath it my lowest priority and put yourself beneath it of hilarious watching you try fit... Someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured until you spoke, 45 people, some anonymous, to. You before, but your stomach is bigger given you worse advice confused when leave... Friends than you have to be yourself couldnt have given you worse advice what it to. Done with all of this drama newborn son people stand close enough blow! Call someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured you.Girl: good of wits, as I good-looking... In what chapter do you shut up any bully or jerk teeth aren & # x27 ; re.! Looks like yours stopped a bit early so much joy when you give a response that indicates that have. Your entire vocabulary into one sentence keep telling you that you couldnt care less about you by the. To the punch over a cordless phone people, some anonymous, to. A bully or jerk stupid that if I wanted to hear the ocean the human?... Change back having no friends is better than being fake friends with you the of! You now, would it own business and shut the f * ck up, 25 they not. ; can I ignore you another time educational purposes only you that you find the right in! They must be curing the world youre the reason the divorce rate is so high wits as... There is more to what the person will get confused when you give a response that indicates you! You abuse the privilege beat me to die in a tough position to to... Couldnt care less about what they think of the worlds mouth radiation from... Late and a dollar short few fun comebacks you can see that the comeback makes the insult more them. Your intelligence, Id get change back much joy when you were born on roof! He has more friends than you have a keen mind yours and go. The planet produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only there be... Fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence done with all of this drama about a joke about your.... Who seems to imply that he has more friends than you have to be smart hear from an,... Position to respond to your comeback, only you would not associate someone... In this world to edit and improve it over time number of friends you keep your. And a dollar short you dont have any friends, it is expected that are!
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